SEX BLOG…. Scandalous!

So how cool would it be, to be asked to write a blog about sex? Pretty damn cool I’d say. Uber cool actually. No, no, I am not a licensed sex therapist or licensed anything for that matter. I am a florist by day and an artist in my free time.

I am however REALLY keen on the subject and have had lots of it (sex that is) with various willing and able partners. I have had all manner of sexual experiences for a relatively normal “straight” woman in my early 40’s. Am I a sexpert? Who knows? After all can you really be an expert on something that is so very natural and part of most of our general built-in abilities? Alas, not all of us quite have the hang of things yet, so I will be giving you my insight and advice in the blogs to come.

So who am I exactly? I’m just a chick from Texas who moved out to sunny So-Cal 5 years ago. I moved out here with my then husband and after about a year here, decided to part ways after a good 10 year run at the marriage. At the age of 38 entered the California dating scene and had a cultural and sexual meltdown. You see y’all, I am from Texas, land of big hair, big make-up and big rednecks. We don’t have 40 yr old douche bags tryin’ to be 25 yr old hotties sportin’ trendy t-shirts and designer jeans and “cougars” are wild cats in my part of the woods. I’m a cougar? EEEWWWW!! No botox or plastic ta-ta’s for me! It was a bit of a culture shock.

However, I have almost fully acclimated. I have learned the art of layering, purchased the required footwear: flip-flops, Uggs, Chucks and Vans. I have toned down the hair, but not the make-up (some things are sacred people) purchased a beach cruiser and lives in gay-friendly and super laid back Long Beach. I waste endless amounts of time at the coffee shop Facebooking. I have learned to say stuff like, “rad!” and “super cute! But my Proxy-Connection: keep-alive
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st favorite pastime, without a doubt, is sex.

So after 3 years of vaguely amusing dating here, I have met: The. Hottest. Man. Alive. We shall call him Mr. Wonderful. He has all the basic 5 things you must have in a man, as laid out by the Sweet Potato Queens, (what??!! you don’t know who the SPQ’s are? Heathens! Get thee to a bookstore NOW!) Ahem, the basic requirements are as follows:

1) He can fix shit

2) He can shake his booty of the dance floor

3) He can pay for shit

4) He can carry on a decent conversation

5) He can give you amazing sex

and my personal addendum: 6) He has a nice cock. Score!

Yes fools…he exists and he is mine! We have been together almost a year, and let me tell you, life is yummy with the right man.

I am a firm believer in having a good sex-life and finding your sexual and emotional match. I will be offering my opinions and advice on sex in general, adult toys (my favs and how to use ‘em), being involved in the Lifestyle (swinging to you not versed in the lingo), monogamy, group sex etiquette, bi sex, gay sex, transgendered sex, hook-ups, safe sex, etc…. basically anything that involves happy and healthy lovemaking between consenting adults (yes… you aren’t mistaken… that sentence did end in “happy and healthy.”)

Some of my topics will include:

The science and mysteries of Lubricants: Which one works for which job?

The dos and don’ts of Adult Internet Dating (be afraid… be very afraid.)

How to make homemade porn without looking like an idiot… it ain’t easy folks.

Can you really be a free spirited, sexual freak of a being, aaand… be in a loving committed relationship?
Being naked during sexy time after 40: Do I need to be professionally lit… dreamy fog lens and all… cuz the dimples in my ass are smiling at me? Or should I just let it all hang out… cuz God don’t make mistakes?

Funny shit that has happened to me during my sexcapades. FYI… Grey Poupon is not a suitable lubricant people.

So that’s it folks. Hope you have time to stop by and see what I’m blabbing about next time.

~ Shellebelle